No big deal, I finally picked a winner to rent. How have I not seen or heard of this before?! Soldier is like a Halo movie that pulls in references and easter eggs from, oh, I don’t know, a dozen different movies and cartoons? Let’s just go ahead and assume that this is a deep dive easter egg game like six degrees of Kevin Bacon, and Soldier is at the center.
Days since I suggested a movie to watch and it didn’t suck: 0
Welcome to Shitty Movies From the Garage! This is what we do now, in fancy Heywood Wakefield movie seats. Never miss a day of antiquing, ya’ll. I only have approximately three things that I get to experience now, so thanks, Pandemic!
We did a rewatch of the absolute banger of a classic milestone of cinema history called Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves. I could pretend that I haven’t seen this movie roughly a hundred times, but everyone who knows me for just a few minutes would probably tell me to stop the lies.
Even more telling, I own the paperback AND hardback novelizations. And they aren’t even hidden. Pretty sure I tried REALLY hard to find fanfiction at some point 🎉✨
A few great quotes from the rewatch:
Guy of Gisborne: “Why a spoon, cousin? Why not an axe? Sheriff of Nottingham: Because it’s dull, you twit. It’ll hurt more!”
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Will Scarlett: “Fuck me…they cleared it!”
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Friar Tuck: “This is grain, which any fool can eat, but for which the Lord intended a more divine means of consumption. Let us give praise to our maker and glory to his bounty by learning about… BEER.”
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Sheriff of Nottingham: “Wait a minute. Robin Hood steals money from my pocket, forcing me to hurt the public, and they love him for it?
That’s it then. Cancel the kitchen scraps for lepers and orphans, no more merciful beheadings, and call off Christmas.”
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Witch Crone Goblin: “Cackles in Westcountry.”
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Kevin Costner’s Butt: “Bein’ a butt.”
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I have nothing bad to say about this movie because it is perfection.
RATING: ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
I have often proclaimed my love for Paul W.S. Anderson’s 1997 sci-fi horror film Event Horizon, about a deep-space vessel that goes to a very bad dimension and returns with mind-warping powers, and features Laurence Fishburne barking the immortal line “Fuck this ship!” A TV series might happen, you say? Fuck YES!
— Read on io9.gizmodo.com/gloriously-gruesome-sci-fi-cult-classic-event-horizon-m-1836979622
